As I sit here listening to “Be With You” by Virtue, I am even more certain I can’t navigate this life without the help of God, so why do I struggle so much to believe that GOD IS IN CONTROL? He has always been in control and no matter what I do, He’s faithful to redirect my thoughts, actions, and final outcome in every situation. Why? Because in those few moments when I am in a sober state of mind, I asked Him to carry out His will in my life and not give up on me when I allow doubt and fear to creep in, question the motives of others before loving them, or fail to represent Him the way He deserves to be represented.
This past month was full of teachable moments from above. I am still working on letting go of the desire to interact on social media and becoming more comfortable with just being me; the me who is okay with not being liked in every space, not feeling the need to prove myself to anyone, and who loves people with the love and guidance of Christ (not the very conditional way I understand love).
I have come a long way on this journey of disconnecting from unhealthy habits, relationships, and spaces, and I am still learning how to identify red flags in myself and others quicker. Becoming a healthy and safe person who creates safe spaces for others is so important to me and no matter how many times I get off course, I’m willing to pick up, apologize to others, repent, and keep it moving. Also, I’m learning to forgive and what forgiveness looks like. I am not required to spend time with people who are unsafe but I am asked to love and pray for them, then trust God to work out the details.
Growth is accepting that you will make mistakes, recognizing the lessons in those mistakes, and sharing what you’ve learned with others who cross your path. We’re not meant to hoard our gifts or wisdom but instead, we should pray for God to send people to us who need what He’s blessed us with.
I challenge everyone who reads this post to live with the expectation for God to show up in every situation in your life, and know that He might not show up in the way that you want Him to, but He’s never late…..He’s always ON TIME. Remind yourself often that GOD IS IN CONTROL! Our understanding is finite in comparison to what God knows so why wouldn’t we trust Him who knows all and sees all?
God, please forgive me for not representing you the way you deserve to be represented. Please, Lord, use my voice, hands, and feet to share the good news of Your word with those who are often forgotten. Send me out into the world and use my voice to encourage others. Let me be a person who will build others up, not tear them down. Thank you for your patience with me and I pray for your continued grace and mercy for a hurting and dying world. AMEN!