Sis, He’ll Never Marry You

So many women are wasting their time compromising their values and settling for less than what they want, for a man who has proven over and over that he does not love her and does not plan to marry her. He doesn’t see the value in marrying her, so he doesn’t stand up for her, he makes her pay half the bills at his home, he’s always going out of town (ALONE), he’s always bringing food back to the house and doesn’t bring any for her, and she pays all of the bills at her home that she keeps on the side (he doesn’t pay half of the bills for her home), she pays for any activities they do because that’s the only way he’ll spend time with her, and he lies to her face and she knows it, but she covers up for him and lies to others about what’s really going on. I’ve been a variation of this person before so I know what fake love looks like and I also know what compromising looks like. No matter how many cute pics you have for sporadic moments, don’t lie to yourself and believe what you’re going through is worth those few good times.

I think the saddest and most degrading thing I’ve seen many women do is to put a man who is not her husband before her children. Someone who hasn’t committed to being her husband and hasn’t helped provide for her children has been placed as number one in her life, but she’s not number one in his life. The second most desperate move I’ve seen a woman makes is to put a ring that she purchased on her finger so she can appear to be in a married relationship. She’ll also claim that her kids are his kids, grandkids his grandkids, sister his sister, etc…but he’s not doing the same. He’s not pretending to be married, he’s not calling his relatives her relatives, his kids her kids, he’s not publicly professing how he loves her or how she has been a blessing to him, he’s doing absolutely nothing extra, but she continues to live in a delusional state of mind that will bring a hard fall. He has a roommate with benefits who helps with the bills and when it all ends, he won’t feel the loss the way she will. He didn’t sacrifice his dignity, he didn’t pretend to be her husband, and he didn’t give up his last name. He’s just in it for the ride (especially if she’s the type to pay for everything and “take care of her man”) and has probably told her several times that she can leave whenever she’s ready. It’s evident he doesn’t love her, but she refuses to accept the truth. Here’s the truth, men fight for what they want. Men honor the women they want. MEN RESPECT THE WOMEN THEY WANT. Men marry women they value.

Ladies, the lack of self-awareness causes you to do very desperate things. Again, this is coming from someone who has journeyed down that road before. It’s time to set some boundaries for yourself. Do you have children who are watching you compromise yourself for a man? Do you want your daughters (or any other young lady) to follow in your footsteps and settle for being a live-in roommate with the first man who shows her some attention?

Why do you have to be strong for yourself and him? Aren’t you tired of being masculine? Is an unmarried relationship what you want? Most women don’t want to be a roommate and they have enough self-respect to set boundaries and uphold their values. These are the women good men marry. Why? Because they are self-aware, consistent, and they refuse to compromise just to say they have a man in their life.

Stop letting that man use you. Just stop for a minute and think about how much you do for him and how much he doesn’t do for you. He doesn’t take the time to honor you with sweet words, but you do it for him. He doesn’t make you feel special or worthy of his attention, and you’re probably always fighting some other woman for him or peeking around the corner to see what he’s doing now. You’re being used and you don’t want to admit it. You’re fighting hard to prove that he cares, but he doesn’t. You’re living in his house and paying for him to get a leg up, but he’s not boosting you up OR he’s living with you and paying for little of nothing. Why can’t he live in a shared home with both names on the deed, as your husband, and pay for you to level up with him? It’s simple sis, because he doesn’t want to and he doesn’t care.

Start today by being real with yourself or continue wasting your life chasing a man that is clearly running away from you. Be blessed and be smart when dating. Much love sisters!