People who support abusers by believing whatever they’re told without proof, or cover up for wrongdoers are enablers. Narcissists can’t function without enablers, therefore, enablers hold the tangible power to expose the narcissist but they never will. They are the people who believe the Ted Bundys of the world are truly sorry, deserve a second chance, and didn’t really mean to kill so many people. In other words, they blindly see the good in everyone. Note, I said blindly because they don’t really see any good, they just want to control the narrative, so they’ll write their own stories about people to make themselves and others feel comfortable with breaking bread with a murderer, liar, thief, rapist, abuser, and any other evil title you can think of. It doesn’t matter if Ted kills again, it only matters that he apologized and they believe him because their minds are just as toxic and warped as the offender. This makes enablers very dangerous because they’ll watch the Teds of the world hurt other people, then they’ll turn a blind eye and pretend they saw nothing.
“Buckle-up baby! Put on your spiritual seat belt, because this is going to be a tough ride–for some people! The following is not meant to hurt, but to heal, even though it may be hard for some to hear. While Enablers are not the Primary Abusers they are the cowards who stand by and watch their child, their sibling, their family member, or friend be abused. A question I would like to pose to the Enablers is one that Dr. Phil made famous which is, “How is that working for you?” What is your pay off? What are you gaining from a situation where your loved one, especially your child is being horribly abused? Yes, I have heard it all before, the popular “Self-Protection Excuse”. The Self-Protection Excuse is like a coupon – you can only redeem it one time. Further uses make it invalid. By simply identifying the abused wife as only a “victim” renders her blameless, helpless, and powerless to change her situation. She must take some responsibility for the life-threatening situation she finds herself & her Children in (source: http://dealingwithtoxicpeople.blogspot.com/2010/03/enablers-are-secondary-abusers.html).”
God warned of enabling behavior and told His children to move away from evil people lest they be swept away with the evildoers of this world (Numbers 16:26). Of course, enablers don’t move away from evil people, instead, they project false empathy onto evildoers and try to convince others to accept the wicked person for who they are. They are not only supporters of evil people, but they agree to be human shields for the wicked and usually find themselves taking a bigger fall for the wicked person’s crimes.
If you have ever enabled an abuser it’s important that you first repent, then sincerely apologize to the people you’ve hurt. Many people are hurt or killed because enablers withhold the truth that could protect someone. This is never okay and just moving on with one’s life after enabling is not an option. A truly changed heart acknowledges how they’ve played a vital role in the demise of someone else (could be your children) and take responsibility before the person that was hurt and if applicable, turn the evildoer over to the authorities.