When the Smear Campaign Comes to Your Job

I was cleaning out my email and I found this letter that was intended to destroy my life. My ex-boyfriend’s new victim sent this to my boss (who knew my ex was following me and harassing me) in an effort to get me fired. This woman didn’t care that I had children to feed, she only cared about removing my name from her new boyfriend’s mouth, and punishing me for his obsession because now she was entangled in a serious trauma bond. 

I thank God my boss and I communicated regularly and she knew my ex was the one who was actually harassing me, getting into my work email, and following me around town. He coerced this stranger to write a letter, do his bidding, and lie without any proof of what she was saying. My boss immediately sent this letter to our campus security and other leaders within our district, expressing her concern for my safety.

I’m sharing this to let you all know that I truly understand your struggles. I had never met or spoken to the woman who wrote this letter, and I still haven’t. How did she know where I worked? How did she know I was a teacher? Why did she take the time to look up my information just to write a letter on behalf of someone she barely even knew, someone who was also lying to her? This is what’s called abuse by proxy because at no point in her movement did she feel something was wrong with the fact that he wasn’t getting involved with contacting my boss. She was a pawn to do the dirty work and many of us have played similar roles when dealing with narcissists. 

The saddest part of the story is, after I shared news of this letter publicly on my social media page, my ex had one of his friends call me and ask if I would remove his name from the post because he didn’t have anything to do with it. Unfortunately, the victims who stand up to protect narcissists can’t see what the narcissist is doing behind the scenes, i.e. throwing them under the bus, or speaking badly about them. I knew from that phone call my ex was exactly who I thought he was and he hadn’t changed with the next person. 

Y’all, it took a long time, but I am proof that you can heal from this type of foolishness. God bless all of you on your journey. This is what people who pretend to love you will do to you in the end. It’s sick and it’s pure calculated evil.

Blessings to you all!

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